Thursday, June 18, 2009
Time just seems to roll right by.
June 19th, 1982 seems like a blink of a eye and yet seems like more then 100 years. How can one date hold so much time in a blink of a eye? How did the time whiz right past us? Did we spend so much time making a living that we forgot to take time and enjoy some slow motion?
27 years ago, my Husband- Michael and I were married. I remember the post last year and it doesn't seem like it has been a year already. Then again it doesn't seem like June either. I have been going full steam ahead for so many months that most of the moments in my life lately are simply blinks of a eye. I remember waking, having tea and toast. Zooming about like a mad hatter and then laying my ragged head on the pillow for a bit of slumber one more time. The good thing is I still get to wake to the beauty around me and love in my heart.
Michael is a wonderful man and has so many qualities I admire most in people. I am blessed that he puts up with this short, tempered( ha ha) redhead. I always tease him and tell him I am worth it. LOL
As we planned our lives together,I knew the day would come when our children would grow up. Be finishing high school and moving on to college, marriage and children of their own. I also knew that one day my father would leave this world and I would be caring for my Mother till she was a 100 and still full of it. LOL I just didn't expect is so quickly.
I look back on my life and remember special moments but the everyday has fallen to the back of the memory banks for a moment when peace comes upon me like the fog. Sliding in slowly until nothing in sight remains but white mist. The mist has been replaced at the moment by the ever ending clicks of a ticking clock, running errands, spending hours in a zippy little car, chasing dog food and houses. I am craving solitude, a strong cup of tea and a sewing machine. That moment in time will have to wait. I pray it comes soon.
My heart is restless and over thrown with guilt. Guilt for things that should be done and yet unfinished. Guilt that my poor husband has fixed himself dinner everyday this week. I haven't even seen or hugged him in two days. Guilt that tomorrow as I celebrate another year of bliss with my dear Husband, my Mother grieves for hers as this was the day they met. Guilt that I can not make the things happen for my Mother that I would like to happen in a timely fashion. I know I have no control over the housing market and if I did they would all be cheaper- I tell ya that! LOL At least for a week or two. Yes, I know I shouldn't feel this way my friends but you can not change these feeling sometimes. I am not looking for pity just spreading words onto a page. My mind and hands want to write and so this is the task at hand that I must complete. With that being said I think what my heart had to say has been spoken. So I will flip the page.
I hope I haven't sent you into a coma from complete boredom. I will have some news and maybe even a celebration to share where you could enjoy the excitement more then expected. So stay tuned my friends. I have the tea pot on and things are stirring about. Now that I cleared some of the cobwebs and gathered dust off the old cellar, maybe I can get Egor to fire up the electrodes and zap some life into the random body parts laying around the house. mmmmmwaaa ahhhaaa! See this is why your mom tells ya to pick up after yourself! LOL
Have a wonderful weekend. Don't worry I will be back to stalk you soon.